Before I attended Date With Destiny (Anthony Robbins)– all participants had to fill out a questionnaire about ourselves. One of the questions being “What are you in control of?” Well, through all of my work in trying to create a better me, I KNOW that the one and only thing I have control of is myself. I can possibly influence another, but at the end of the day– I cannot control them or make them choose one thing over another. This is something that I knew, but did I truly understand this concept?! No. I’m a person who has always wanted to control the situation because I trusted my judgment over others and I had my own vision as to how a situation would go down; whether it was how I would spend my Friday night with a loved one or what my son would eat for dinner.
I guess “control” was a bigger issue in my life than I had previously thought. I’m always talking about awareness being the first step to any growth but this situation I had just not got the picture yet. So tonight, the perfect person brought out this issue in me. I had an expectation and a story of what my night was going to be and it was completely changed, 100%. Not that I should have been attached to my story to begin with, but you know… me being me, that’s what I did.
So anyways, after all was said and done and I was left feeling worse than before… something clicked in my brain that had not previously done so. I knew that I couldn’t control someone else’s actions as much as I know Christmas falls on December 25th. But I didn’t really understand this concept.
My lesson (and advice to anyone who may be dealing with the same thing)…
First off, I have to come to the agreement with myself that the only thing in this world I can truly control is myself.
Secondly, the second I start creating a story in my head as to how I want something to turn out– DELETE it. Let go of expectations of a situation, they will only lead me to disappointment.
Thirdly, stop trying to control other people. Granted, I may be able to have some sort of influence on others but not control. Become unattached from what you want from another person. Any given person will be and do what they want. Let go of the need for control.
Fourth, bring myself back to the purpose of MY life. When I stay focused on the direction and purpose of my life, I am less concerned about what the people around me are doing. I feel more of a completeness within myself and less of a need to control others into fitting my cookie-cutter image of what I believe things should be.
“Let go and let GOD”
