Healthy Child.

Here are just a few things that I incorporate into my sons life to ensure his health… they are simple, easy and for the most part cost-efficient. In America, we have learned to do things out of convenience, not health. There are SO many little things you can do to maintain a healthy child and like I said, these are just a few:

Don’t use microwaves! Microwaves are horrible for food… throw in some frozen veggies and by the time they come out, they are limp, soggy and nutrition-less. The microwave strips any left nutrients and vitamins. If you do use the microwave– make sure you are not heating your food up in plastic bowls/containers. The microwaves causes the plastic to leak chemicals which get into your food. Lots of these chemicals are cancer causing. So not only am I ripping the nutrients out of my frozen veggies, but by heating them up in their “convenient” plastic casing, I am ALSO adding a sure side of chemicals into my blood stream. And one more thing– if you do happen to use the microwave, don’t put your head right in front of it. If your microwave by chance has a leak in the door, you are getting even more radioactivity (cancer causing) waves immersed into your body. When I do use the microwave, I start it and walk away until it’s done. When I have my own house– I’m not even buying a microwave. At my families house where I live we don’t own a microwave– you’ll find a way to heat up your food without one, trust me and if you can’t think of one– ask me and I’ll tell you =). Especially for your children!! Don’t ever heat up breast milk or baby food, it even says right on the glass container don’t heat up in the microwave!

Start feeding your child whole-wheat or multigrain pastas & breads. Feeding your child white bread is like a teacher giving busy work in class. It keeps your stomach full for a little while, with no nutritional value; the teacher gives you pointless work to keep you busy for a little while. (Arnold’s brand is really nutritious and yummy, Oatnut is my favorite) But if you absolutely have to buy white bread– make sure there is no High Fructose Corn Syrup. For pasta, wheat pasta is not nearly as tasty– at least get the smart pasta by Ronzoni.

Don’t use processed cheese such as American… cheddar is similar tasting and you can get it unprocessed, that much healthier! When you go out to eat, ask for an alternative to American cheese.

Don’t even let your child know what soda is and if they do– switch them to seltzer (soda) water! All it is is carbonated water… add some lemon or lime or buy it flavored. I use this for my son and he swears it’s real soda (because of the carbonation) and he loves it.

Stay away from high fructose corn syrup. According to an article in the Washington Post, just about half of all tested HFCS contains mercury. We already know the side effects of mercury. HFCS is in fruit juices, canned fruits, soda, processed foods, lunch meats, soups, yogurts… There are so many yummy snacks that don’t contain HFCS for your children. They may be a little more expensive, but anything is worth your child’s successful health. Enough HFCS often leads to diabetes and obesity. Our children should NOT be having diabetes and obesity at such young ages. ARTICLES ON HFCS: http://www.westonaprice.org/The-Double-Danger-of-High-Fructose-Corn-Syrup.html & http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/26/AR2009012601831.html

Stay away from (partially) hydrogenated oils. These are equally as bad as HFCS. Partially hydrogenated fats contain HIGH levels of saturated fats. Fats are essential and mandatory to a healthy diet BUT not these ones. Look for food items with polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats (olive oil and almonds are a great source for these). Partially hydrogenated oils are found in lots of cookies and snacks. Partially hydrogenated oils are a cheap alternative for food companies to regular oil and/or butter. They aren’t looking out for your health– they are looking out for their pockets. Annie’s brand has absolutely great tasting and healthy foods– I give my son their Mac and Cheese and he loves it– I personally think it’s better tasting than Craft and would choose Annie’s any day over Craft. They have lots of great snacks too that are starting to become available at any regular grocery store! Try them out! ARTICLE ON PHO: http://www.treelight.com/health/nutrition/PartiallyHydrogenatedOils.html

MILK! Yes… MILK! Milk really is not good for people. Milk comes for cows and is made for cows. God did not create cows to create milk for humans. Just as breast milk was not intended for calves, cow milk is not intended for humans. Yes, there is nutrition and benefits of milk but overall (although lots of research is still being conducted) cows milk should not be the first choice. Cows milk is processed and absolutely stripped down of any remaining nutrients. Again, just like the food industry companies– milk industry companies are more concerned on profits then the health of you, their consumers and their cows. They gives their cows unhealthy and deadly growth hormones along with pesticides and the cheapest food they can find. Milk causes lots of allergies later on in life for children. Have you ever noticed that milk sometimes makes your child extra mucusy? I am just starting to take my son off of milk (and put him on rice milk). Everytime he is sick, I can’t give him milk because he ends up throwing up mucus. It makes him THAT much worse. ARTICLE ON MILK: http://www.formerfatguy.com/articles/dont-drink-milk.asp

Monosodium Glutame. I have written on this one all by itself before– there is so much information out there PROVING how bad this ingredient is for you, yet we STILL fail to check food labels to make sure we don’t buy anything with it. I do not buy anything with MSG in it or it’s components. There are lists you can find that give you all of the names MSG goes by. Even soups like Swanson that have entire commercials on how their chicken broth has no MSG, HAS MSG! Except it’s not under the name MSG– it’s under other names like YEAST EXTRACT + HYDROLYZED YEAST PROTEIN (Those are just the two I most often see). Yeast extract is an ingredient that HAS MSG in it so although it is not the purest form of it, it is still a form of it and we should not be poisining our bodies (Those two contain 78% MSG– http://www.msgmyth.com/hidename.htm). Soups and anything with seasoning (like rice) are common to have them. In restaurants, you will very, very rarely ever see me order soup– that stuff is FILLED with MSG. MSG leads to all sorts of health issues if eaten enough and the way America eats today– it’s no wonder people are so unhealthy.

Vitamins are essential. Most of our children are not getting the full nutrients they need. Most children are obviously on some kind of multi-vitamin. I would personally suggest a natural one. I use NutriStart Multivitamin Powder by Rainbow Light. I get this at Whole Foods and it is 100% natural, no additives, no yeast, wheat, lactose or gluten. They are only $16.99 for a 30 day supply. I also keep my son on JarroDophilus. This is a probiotic which is SO great to put a kid on. This keeps their system running smoothly and their immune system up. I put 1/2 tsp. per day in my son’s bottle. The brand is Jarrow Formula’s and you can also find this at Whole Foods for less than $20.00– this lasts me over a month. The last thing I give my son (even though his multivitamin contains it) is Sambucus (Elderberry). This is GREAT for flu/cold season and winter. It’s a great immune booster. I give it to him a couple days before we go on an airplane or if I know he will be exposed to lots of germs. The three of these ensure my son’s health and even when everyone around him has been sick, he’s kept up his health at peak. I buy “Nature’s Answer for kids” at Whole Foods as well for less than $20.00. All a cheap price for your child’s health =)

There are so many other things we can do, although it takes a lot to get out of convenience habits– the long term results are so worth it. Slowly but surely, if you start eliminating a certain thing and replacing it with something better– your WILL see results and your child will forget he/she ever had anything different! Starting your child off right is most important and will eliminate future issues!

Limiting Beliefs.

So as I was going through a short process to release my belief “I’m not capable” through an internet program (which can be found here: http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/), I came to the realization that I am often times defeated before I even begin something. There is that annoying little voice inside of my head that tells me I can’t. Going through one of the video’s on that website, the narrator was asking questions for you to answer out loud, in asking these questions (and answering out loud) I came to the conclusion that as a child, I believe my parents lacked patience with me. Anytime they asked me to do something as a small child, I either wouldn’t be able to because I was too young, I didn’t know how or whatever the case– so anyways, they probably got impatient with me and completed the task for me instead of taking the time to allow me to complete it thus creating the belief, I AM NOT CAPABLE (which we all are by the way). But anyways, every situation is ONLY what you make of it. There are so many different ways to interpret a situation but as a child, we have limited resources and knowledge as to what a situation may really be trying to get across. My parents NEVER doubted me or thought that I was not able, in fact, it was the complete opposite– that was only how I interpreted it. Instead of the automatic belief that I was not able, how about– “my parents had unrealistic expectations of me, I was only a little girl, how am I supposed to know how to do something I have never really been taught?”

So then that brings me to my son, Hayden. I’ve been noticing my lack of patience when it comes to him. Keep in mind– our children when born, are basically aliens (and I mean that in the best way possible). What I mean by this is that they don’t really know anything about life on Earth. It is our job, as their parents/caretakers to show them, tell them and most importantly let them try it out as we guide them. I realized, I was doing the same thing to my son that made me create the “I am not capable” belief which would eventually lead to him more than likely creating that belief for himself. I can’t lose my patience because he is not able to do something. I was having unrealistic expectations of him. That’s not right of me to do! How is a two year old supposed to know how to put on his socks the right way? He’s not! That’s where I, his mommy, comes in! Once I realized what I was doing, it was amazing at the amount of patience I immediately got back because of my awareness of this issue.

17-21 years later, after creating that belief, I was still dealing with the consequences of believing something that was completely not true. It was only true because I gave it power it did not deserve. I don’t want my son to create a belief like that because of my lack of patience with him. So how do you prevent this from happening to your children? Take the time to allow them to grow. Stand by their side and encourage them, tell them they are doing an amazing job. There is nothing better that you can do for your children besides the obvious than to encourage and motivate your children. You are molding your child’s brain and you are aiding in their self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. By diminishing these three, you are setting your child up for failure without even realizing it! It really hurts me to see parents in public bash their children, I can only imagine what is said and done when nobody else is around… I remember I was at a store in the mall and all of a sudden I hear this nasty mother tell her child (who looked no older than Hayden who is 2 years old) “You see that boy in the mirror? He’s a HORRIBLE boy. Nobody likes that boy.” (As she put her son in front of the mirror to look at himself). Can you possibly IMAGINE what toll that will take on her child as he begins to grow? I may not always have the most patience but there is no way in this World I would dare speak to my child like that–

In fact: it wouldn’t hurt your child to affirm things to them. I ask Hayden to repeat me in saying things like “I am a millionaire!” “I am a genius!” “I am amazing!” I pump him up and he loves it… he starts screaming and clapping and jumping. As a parent, I believe we are our children’s biggest fans and it is up to us to pump them up and make them feel like they can tackle the world. We need to prepare them for the real world and the first step of that is self-esteem and them knowing that they CAN and they are able.

**And please note mommies and daddies– this belief and this instance that I created (“I am not capable”) is only ONE out of an infinite amount of different beliefs we create for ourselves, this is merely an example and a very common instance in lots of lives. “I am capable” is also a belief but a better one of course and the one our children should be adopting. This example that I gave may not be true for you reading this but I’m pretty sure you can resonate on some level with at least a different belief you’ve created for yourself that you are carrying on to your children!

Mommies and daddies– the key is AWARENESS. Become aware, as I say in a lot of my blogs… awareness is the FIRST step to achieving any growth because if you are not aware of the issue there, how can you possibly acknowledge it and get over it? There’s no such thing as a perfect parent but if we keep on keeping on with the awareness– it will only make us that much better and more importantly, our children that much more confident in themselves =)

If you have time, I would definitely check out that website– There’s something for everyone!

Young + Single Mommies…

Young + Single Mommies… Put your hands up ladies, applaud yourselves… pat yourselves on the back. It’s not easy doing what you do. Add a job + school to that young single mommy mix and BAM. You are a young, single, working, going to school mother! You are amazing! <– Read that again and let it soak in. You are AMAZING!

Underestimated, judged, disrespected, looked down upon– what is up with that? I have witnessed some damn good mothers doing all of this at a young age. Loving, caring, compassionate, playful… taking full responsibility when mommy could have thrown her child to her parents or someone else or never have the child to begin with; doing the right thing even if it meant putting your life on hold or slowing things down a bit. Read these following lines ladies:

–The 4,317,000 births in 2007 (the year my son was born) just edged out the figure for 1957, at the height of the baby boom.
–Four out of every 10 babies is born to an unmarried mother (40%).

Now, not too long ago– having a baby out of wedlock was an idiosyncrasy; it was a rarity… completely and utterly taboo. Well, here we are in the year 2010 and it’s nothing uncommon. I’m just saying, do you think it’s a coincidence that there is this crazy boom of birth rates and all of a sudden there is this absolutely crazy number of mothers who are still teens, young adults and unmarried?

Well, I believe in higher purposes and this is one of them. There’s not too much information out there about this generation yet, as I believe our children are referred to as “Generation Z”– (I could be wrong and if I am, please feel free to correct me) or referred to as “Crystal Children” (Google it + do some research, you might be amazed). I believe that these children have been given to us at our young ages because we can relate better to them. Don’t get me wrong, in no way do I mean ANY disrespect to any other aged mother. I am just specifically talking about young mothers right now (because we deserve recognition as well). I’ve witnessed playfulness, understanding, compassion and a lot of “eye-to-eye” instances between these young mothers and their children. It’s a really beautiful thing. Granted, there are of course not so nice things I have witnessed and granted our children get on our nerves as well but– I’ve never really ever witnessed the connection that these young mother’s have to their children before.

Our children are here, as I was saying, to fulfill a higher purpose– I believe we are going to be achieving “order out of chaos” as a World and these children, aged 0-5 are the ones who are going to bring us all together. They are loving, unconditional and peaceful. They are in touch with their emotions, they are sensitive and they are serene. It would really sadden me (among others) to see parents of these children dimming their childrens lights. Our children have the right to be who they want to be and it is our job as parents to make sure we support them every step of the way. They know a lot more than we think they do, they are smart, witty & sharp for only having been on this Earth for a few short years, if that.

So, if you think you are incapable… think again. If you are ashamed of being a young mother, reevaluate those feelings. Gear your child towards the higher path… can you imagine being the mother of a future Gandhi or Buddha? How amazing would that be? These children are here for a reason, it’s up to you as a parent to help aid in the fulfillment of their life purposes. They will all surely figure it out =) I have lots of faith for them.

**To some this may be completely weird and unbelievable but keep an open mind for the sake of your child– If you do decide to look up “Crystal Children”– you will find a list of characteristics for them. Among these characteristics, you may find a few along the lines of “speaking slowly,” “not speaking at all”– this is what I am referring to as dimming your child’s light. Let them grow at their own pace, don’t be disappointed if your child isn’t achieving as much as the next child is. Your child will amaze you when he/she is ready to reveal his/her personal power =) Here’s a website of characteristics: http://www.crystalangelscoaching.com/charofcrystal.html

Sources:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-07-16-baby-boomlet_N.htm

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/19/health/19birth.html

What environment are you raising your child in?

Often times, we are unaware of those things we say and do that could potentially cause harm to others. It’s not so much intentional; we just don’t know any better. We are doing what we were taught and we are doing what we’ve witnessed those who raised us have done. We are simply doing the best we can. Being a mother means becoming aware of all of your ways, whether good or bad. Face it, nobody is perfect and it is quite impossible to be the perfect parent. We yell at our children without realizing we’ve raised our voices. We curse in front of them without having noticed a dirty word slipped out. We watch TV inappropriate for little children when they are around thinking it won’t effect them. We feed them out of convenience, not health. We punish them out of anger, not love. We give into them every time thinking it’s going to benefit them. We bring them around people they probably shouldn’t be around. And that’s not even the least of it.

We are guilty of all of these and many more as a whole. And the reason? Lack of awareness. We don’t realize the toll we are taking on our children because we often times can’t see two feet ahead of or besides ourselves.

Being a young, single mother is not an easy shoe to fill but it is possible to do and it is possible to do with flying colors. You don’t have to settle for the circumstances you may be in with other people. Anything that you could possibly want that will benefit you and your child and family, is in your reach; you just have to want it bad enough (burning desire).

What kind of environment are you raising your children in? Take a step back and look in on your situation. Are you unhappy with your significant other? Do you guys fight more than you get along? Are you angry or sad? Our children pick up on all of this– and the worst part about that, is that somehow or another they end up acting it out whether it be immediate or in the future. Happy mommy = happy baby and that statement is so true. I know that every time I am in a bad mood, sad mood, angry mood– my son acts it out within hours of my negativity. I don’t show him that I’m sad or mad, but just because I don’t show it doesn’t mean he isn’t picking up and feeling what I’m feeling.

I was reading in the book “Think & Grow Rich” (a timeless classic by Napoleon Hill) that it takes absolutely the SAME amount of effort to live in pain, uncertainty and lack of wealth than it does to live in happiness and abundance. It’s ALL in how you think and yes it is more than possible to change the way you think. So, if you are in a nasty situation that you don’t really want to be in then please answer me this: WHY? Why are you making yourself miserable in a situation that you don’t have to be in? Granted, getting out may be extremely hard & you may be scared as to what’s going to come next but it’s possible! I did it and so many other mother’s have done it as well.

Our children shouldn’t have to be brought up around drinking, smoking, partying, fighting, cursing and anything else that adds to a potentially unhealthy lifestyle. Yes, we may be young but we now have the divine responsibility to be as good of a role model as we can. We still have the right to go out and have a good time, but in moderation and not around our children. Yes– curse words are JUST words but it’s the energy behind the word that causes the effect. And drugs– they may not be in the same room as your child but they shouldn’t even be in the same house. Imagine getting caught and having Child Protection Services come into your house and take away your child… How about bringing your children out @ odd hours of the night in a bar environment around drunk people? I’ve seen it many times… children should be able to grow up in as peaceful environments as possible. Yes of course there will be a little dysfunction but I’m talking about the factors and poison that can completely be avoided. And as far as fighting goes… ladies in particular, you do NOT have to keep yourself in an environment. There are SO many resources out there and people out there that are built JUST for mothers who need help. The resources are there, might as well take advantage of them, right? Imagine what you could be missing out on because of the situation you are in now?

We are all so, so worthy and deserving of an amazing life. All you have to do is knock down that wall that’s keeping you from going there. It’s not always easy but I can tell you this– when you get there, it will sure as hell be worth it. To live happily, abundantly and have happy children is such an amazing payoff for any hard work you have to put forth to get there =)

Think about it ladies and gents…

Timeline of the year =)

So I’ve just recently started gearing my thoughts towards my future, hardcore. I’ve always been told by my father if you just ask yourself what you need to know, you are sure to find the answer. It will somehow show up as long as you are watching out for it– it would be against human nature not to show up! That’s just the way it goes… so in asking myself what can I do to really get my goals out there and solid-packed, I came up with what I think is a pretty good idea. Now, keep in mind– it is just a simple idea that could possibly be the beginning to the rest of your life (or at least for now, the next year).

Another thing I have always been taught is to “visualize” as if you already have what you want (“The Secret”). This will tie in in a minute…

So we’ve all heard of vision boards: cutting out pictures in a magazine and pasting them on a big poster board. We’ve also heard of just writing down goals. Of both, there are many variations and they are all amazing ways to contribute to the wealth of your future. And by wealth, I mean all aspects of your life– not just money.

My idea? Go to the store, get a poster board (the same as you would a vision board) and draw a nice horizontal line across the middle of the poster. What I’m doing for myself is starting it on New Years and having the timeline be for the next year. So, you start with January 1st 2010. Write down all of the goals you will accomplish over this coming year (or whatever you prefer for a timeline) as if you have already accomplished them (where the Law of Attraction comes in). So instead of saying, by March 1st 2010 I will be making $4,000 in income per month, you write down the date and write “I began making $4,000 a month and from then on my income kept rising.” You are basically writing as if it had already happened and you are looking back upon it (but that you have succeeded past it). Write out your timeline with a goal every month, every three months, every week– whatever fits YOU best. If you need to add pictures (which always helps) then add pictures to add a little spice to it =).

This is just a different way of going about what you want.

But that’s not all–

Under each goal, you are going to write THREE actions steps on how to achieve that goal and dedicate however much time a day you can (5 minutes, an hour– whatever you can do) and PROMISE yourself you WILL follow through with your action steps in getting what you want.

Whether it be that sexy new 5 series or that monthly vacation or just to be able to go shopping whenever you want– STICK TO IT AND DO IT! We ALL have the power within us to create ANYTHING we want; the hard part is believing in yourself that it can be done. Break down that wall and soar with flying colors.

Please leave me feedback if anyone has modification suggestions or opinions =) Hope you all enjoy and many blessings to everyone!

Single Mommy’s Mind.

As females, we have always looked to fairy tales for our happy endings. We have created this image of the way everything should be, including finding our one and only: prince charming. Then we get a little older to realize that it isn’t all cookies and cupcakes. We even realize that we aren’t that perfectly shaped-smooth haired-doll-faced perfect woman in the fairy tale either.

I am now a 21 year old single mother and wondering where the last few years of my life came from. They made for one hell of a ride from what I was used to previously. Every day, I realize more and more why certain things happened the way they did. I am seeing my life from the outside, and seeing how perfectly every puzzle piece fits together so nicely and intricately… everything from my son (most important) to moving up North, to getting a job where I did, so on and so forth.

But there was one thing I wasn’t quite comprehending; or maybe it was just something I didn’t want to understand because I didn’t want to accept it. And that thing: being single. Living where I do right now, everywhere you look, there are all couples. Everyone is taken. All shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds, beliefs, religions… So naturally, I started to think “what in the world is wrong with me?” I’m hard on myself to begin with but now I’m worrying about not having a significant other and why I don’t have him… Then I began to think a little bit harder. I have been taught enough about life to know that if the time isn’t right, it’s not going to happen and everything is always in perfect order even if it doesn’t seem so.

Being a single mother, it’s a lot different searching for somebody then it would be if I didn’t have a child, especially at my age. I have skipped the years of a young person’s life where he/she can do whatever they please, whenever. If I were to actually have a boyfriend right now, how would I be able to juggle everything? I can’t go out on dates every night or have sleep overs. I can’t have that party life either, even if I wanted it. My main job right now is to raise my son the best I can and to always ensure his health, happiness, safety and well-being. Most males around my age don’t understand that for the life of them. They may think I’m an easy target for some estranged reason because I have a child when really, it’s complete opposite. And another thing, while a group of single mother’s ARE looking for a father for their child, I am NOT one of those people. Yes, there is actually a nice-sized group of single mommy’s who are NOT looking for a daddy! We just want a life-time partner to accept and love our children, not father them. I know at least for me, my son has a great father. I’m in no way looking for another one. There’s a difference between looking for a father, and looking for a man to love my children as his own. I would love my sister’s children as my own (that’s my point).

So anyways, this is what popped into my mind: Let’s get real for a second… there’s a big possibility that God wants me to be alone for whatever reason in this lifetime. And if that’s the case—so be it; I accept my destiny. And if that’s not the case, then I don’t want to meet or start looking at somebody in “that” way until I am formed into the person I am supposed to be for the rest of my life. Yes, life is a non-stop growing opportunity but I still have a bit of maturity to gain and growing to do before I am a solid human being fulfilling my life purpose. The man that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with, I may not even think about in that way (if I know him) or take more than a glance at if I don’t know him. I should be taking this time to focus on myself and my son (which I do) not wondering if the next guy who comes along is “it” (because let’s face it ladies, we all do it!).

So ladies, this is for you: if you are single, raising a beautiful child then next time you think about bringing a man around your baby—think twice. Do you really want to raise your child seeing different men walk in and out of your lives? No! Do you know the instability that will create for your child? Just focus on what should be most important… the child(ren). Don’t worry about guys. When you are following your heart, your life purpose and doing your part as a good mother, you watch and see what happens. Don’t go out of your way to look for someone. Just live your life as you usually would, and watch what walks into your life. There’s no need to rush, after all—these may be the only single days left of our lives! We need to embrace them, accept them and most importantly, enjoy them!

Life doesn’t always turn out as expected but that makes for a much more exciting life and a beautiful one at that. Embrace the single mommy life. It’s you and that baby =) And if someone doesn’t see your worth off the bat– then give ‘em the boot. Plain & Simple. Children are the light of this world and if someone fails to see that– then something is seriously wrong.

Love yourself, love your children & love your life.

=)

Unwritten laws of the restaurant biz.

Working in the restaurant biz has definitely been an experience; not only for me but the millions of others who serve on a daily basis as well. For now, being a waitress is alright– it’s quick and easy money and not that hard of a job. HOWEVER, it comes with a lot of stress at times (especially to those who depend their financial lives on this job) and a lot of anger. Luckily for me, I don’t have any rent to pay so I don’t really get as upset as most would if I get completely stiffed from a table I worked my booty off for. Soo… to all of you who have never worked in the hospitality business before, this is mostly for you– to understand those unwritten laws that are written on the walls of every restaurant in America. These are just some things that I thought of so if you are another hospitality worker, please feel free to add your own!

This topic isn’t something I would usually write about, but at this moment in time– it is relevant and I figured since lots of people won’t ever experience what it’s like to work @ a restaurant, I’ll bring you into the mind of a server…

1) ALWAYS tip AT LEAST 15%. Now, even 15% is pushing it but at least it’s something. Most servers have to tip out to other workers such as the busser, the expo worker, hostess’ and the bar a certain percentage of sales. So say for instance you are the server to a table and their bill was $50. Where I work now, I have to tip out 3% of my sales. 3% of $50 is $1.50. This table left you $50 exactly and not a penny more. So now, being the server– you have to PAY $1.50 to the other employees of the restaurant. That’s right– you PAID out of YOUR pocket $$ for another table to eat in your section. That doesn’t seem fair, does it?

2) Verbal tips. We get it. You loved the service. You loved the food. Everything was hot, tasty and timely. How do you show your appreciation? A nice fat tip (or at least 20%)! Don’t just sit there and tell us how much you loved everything, SHOW us through a tip. Verbal tips don’t pay the bills! …I’m just saying…

3) THE FOOD. So, you waited 20 minutes for an entree that was cold and not cooked to order. It’s the server’s fault, right? Because the server is the one in the kitchen on the grill, right? WRONG! The servers do NOT cook the food (well at least in most places). If your food is not to order (assuming the server rang everything in correctly) then do not get an attitude with us and blame it on us! A lot of cooks are just too damn lazy to do things the right way (even though they’ll have to do it over anyways)… It’s not our fault!

4) Don’t mess with your server. Not that I would EVER in a million years do anything harmful to a guest but it happens. The server is pissed off at a nasty table (and by nasty I mean attitude)… some of them might tend to do something secretly vengeful, like I don’t know– lick your spoon, drop a burger bun on the floor then put it back on your burger… There are some pretty miserable people in the restaurant biz (and that’s no secret) and yes it is unfortunate because when we go out to eat, we want an enjoyable time with our friends and loved ones but it does happen. If by chance you do have to complain about your food, make sure you do it nicely… I will do everything I can to get your food out properly if it wasn’t done so the first time, just don’t give me an attitude about it.

5) If you really don’t want to waste money tipping a server AT LEAST 15% then DO NOT go out to eat. Enough said.

6) Don’t yell across the restaurant to get the attention of your server. It’s just rude and disrespectful. Just patiently wait, or call on another server walking by to get your server. You wouldn’t want somebody screaming for you in a rude tone, now would you?

7) Restaurant’s don’t exist to hand out free food. They exist to create a great and pleasurable environment for guests and to make money in the process. Don’t eat your entire meal then complain at how horrible it was. Don’t ask us to give you a free salad or kids meal or dessert. IF there is a legitimate reason for not having an up to par experience at the restaurant then most of the time, the manager will do something for you (such as a free dessert or a few bucks off of your bill). But do NOT try and manipulate your way to FREE. Don’t squeeze the lemon dry. That’s what food stamps & welfare are for.

8 ) Pay attention when your server comes to the table. Yes, we are serving you and it is our job to make sure you have everything you need but at least help us out a bit. Sometimes, we can get overwhelmed or “weeded” as it’s called and don’t have all the time in the world to spend on just YOU and your party. If your server comes to check on your drinks and one of you asks for a drink while another person clearly has an empty drink but claims to not want a drink– then when we come back with the first person’s drink and now all of a sudden the other person wants a drink (30 seconds later)… come on now. Give us a little break… tell us at once what you need instead of giving us something else to get you every time we drop something off.

Going out to eat at restaurants whether it be McDonald’s or Ruth Chris’ Steak House, we ALL want that enjoyable experience. We want to be able to enjoy the company of those we are with and of course, enjoy the yummy food and drinks we came to get! A GOOD and genuine server wants you to have a great experience also. Help us help you. We are not your slaves. If we’re nice to you– then surely I think it’s fair that you’re nice back, right?

…and YES… there are exceptions but these are just some general things to abide by =)

“Change the Change”

Okay so obviously, everybody is aware of the H1N1 swine flu and vaccine– at least I would hope so. But do you pay attention to it as you should? Are you looking and listening to what we as American citizens are NOT seeing and hearing? I want you to really think about this question: Most people TRUST the government as far as knowing “what’s best for society” right? So how do you trust a group of people who you’ve never met? How can you be SO positive that what they say and do and FORCE upon you is the right thing for you? You can’t. And I’m sure you’ve never thought about that question either. Because most citizens, don’t ask. They take the government’s word as truth and never ask questions. It would be different if they gave birth to us and loved us and raised us our whole lives personally as our parents but no, they don’t even know your name. To them, your just another 9 digit number paying them your hard-earned money.

These following points are things that are quite disturbing to me and really stood out to me, I will post the link to the videos I watched them from BUT that does not guarantee them to be true. NOTHING the news says is guaranteed to be based on truth whether you believe it or not…but even for things like this to be spoken about, publically by high-up officials should tell you something.

–In Oklahoma, CHILDREN were the guinea pigs for the swine flu vaccine. CHILDREN? Seriously?

–There is a proposition for the military to BACK UP FEMA CAMPS if there should be an H1N1 pandemic.

–”We don’t force it on anyone, they have every right to keep their immunity low and possibly get sick and die from it. That’s their God-given right…” –Dr. Grossman

–World Health Organization (W.H.O.) if this pandemic got to level 6 (which it has been considered a level 6) “public officials would be empowered to force treatments, vaccinations or quarantines.”

–Politicians are the ones running the game show on the vaccine, not the medical field.

–International Swine Flu Conference: Met about enforcing quarantines and mass vaccinations.

–Mandated Vaccinations in Oklahoma, a law that EVERYONE will be vaccinated. Plans for citizens: You cannot go anywhere without PROOF of the vaccination. Plans to be implemented for road blocks, where greatest number of people can be held until they prove vaccination by paper OR by medal bracelet with a device (chip) to hold it in place. This chip holds all kinds of information about you.

NOW LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE BIBLE:

REVELATIONS 14:9-11
“A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: “If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, 10he, too, will drink of the wine of God’s fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. He will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. 11And the smoke of their torment rises for ever and ever. There is no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and his image, or for anyone who receives the mark of his name.”

REVELATIONs 13:8
“All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.”

MOST IMPORTANTLY:
REVELATION 13:16-17
“He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17 so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. “

SOUND FAMILIAR???

You do know the mark of the best is “666″ right? So how come… out of all of the possible number combinations there are… EU666 and US666 H5N1 is what’s going in the swine flu vaccine (EU666 and US666 are strands of bird flu being but in the swine flu vaccine and used as a biological weapon)

Are you thinking outside of the box? Tying this all together?

–”Slow homicide, or slow suicide.” They will either kill you with injection or virtual suicide if you deny vaccine. If you deny, there will be busses waiting in the road blocks to take you away to jail/FEMA camps.

Just a few short videos…

Seriously, you could think I am full of BS or whoever created these videos are but just THINK FOR YOURSELF. WHY is the government’s word the truth? What makes it so TRUE?

Life’s Reminders.

I am constantly learning new things about life, my life, other’s lives, how to live life, how to become better… you get the picture. But there is just SO much to remember. It’s kind of like when people tell you “there is no handbook for parenting,” same stands true for life. There is no handbook on how to live the life YOU in particular are supposed to live, what you are supposed to learn & what path’s you are supposed to take. I’ve always wished that for myself, I could write “daily reminders” to hang up on the bathroom window, in my car, on the fridge… just to remind myself of certain things in life that I would really like to practice and make into my own reality. So here are a few that I could think of for now: I am writing this so I can reinstate certain things for myself, but I am also posting it here so that you and other’s are able to take as much as you can from what I’m writing and hopefully grow through the wisdom I’ve gained and acquired from others =)

1) Everything happens for a reason. The world does not hate you, the world is not against you. Everything that happens, even if it seems hard or miserable at the time, is really a blessing in disguise and a beautiful situation as horrible as it may seem.

Excercise: The next time something even a tad bit stressful comes up in your life, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself “what is this situation trying to reveal to me to allow myself to become a better person?” Instead of letting this situation defeat you and have you feel powerless, start looking at it as a playful game with your job being to overcome the situation.

2) “Character is who we are when nobody is looking,” “You can judge the character of a man by how he treats people who can do nothing for him…” CHARACTER. Character is VERY important in life, as I was always taught– it is so very important to be a human of your word and to be in integrity in every aspect of your life meaning… what you say, feel, think and do are all equal to eachother.

Excercise: Next time you are alone, when nobody is watching, and you may normally have done something not very repitable (cheating on a test, stealing something, using something of someone else’s or even breaking something of someone else’s), do the right thing. Of course, nobody is watching BUT little changed like this make all the difference in the World. People will start seeing you for YOU as your character grows and you will no longer have to put on a front to the World or certain people as to who you want them to believe you are. Start becomming that person.

3) When life hands you lemons, make lemonade– something we’ve all heard many a’ times, yet never have we followed it. If you are given a situation (kind of related to number 1), you can handle it in one of two ways. Now keep in mind, either way… you are going to come out of the situation because nothing stays the same BUT how are you going to handle it? Are you going to let your stress reach an ultimate high? Are you going to freak out on everybody, become a basket case and completely loose it? OR… will you handle the situation as I’ve mentioned in number 1?

Excersice: Next time a rough situation approaches, I want you to pretend for a moment it’s not you in that predicament (because for a lot of people, it is easier to give advice to others then themselves) and think of a way you can make this situation fun and a way you can get the most out of it. You don’t want to waste one drop of lemon juice for that lemonade…

4) EGO is a killer. It “divides and conquers” and it makes for one hell of a tough ride. Most don’t realize, that ego is running their life. It’s okay to allow yourself into a state of vulnerability. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to feel embarassed. It’s okay for someone to reject you. Of course, none of this will necesarily feel good but it is all in how you react to the situation. Not to generalize, but lots of times– ladies turn down the gents and they come back and call ladies all sorts of disgusting and degrading names. Your “boys” embarass you in front of a girl and you start acting like a mad man. Your fighting with someone and you KNOW you’re wrong but there’s no way you’re going to admit it. EGO seperates us from our most spiritual goal of humanity; unity and oneness. Just remember this next time a situation arises…

Excercise: This may be one of the harder excercises or ideas to grasp but just for the hell of it (besides, what do you have to loose other than a little pride, which is made up anyways?)… next time you are in a situation where you are put on the spot in any of the above situations or any situation at that where you begin to feel defensive… stop! Take a quick moment to think of what’s about to come splurring out of your mouth– instead of using the F bomb, why don’t you say something along the lines of “you know man, I’m sorry… I didn’t look at it that way until you brought it to my attention, I’ll definitely work on it” or if someone turns you down instead of getting defensive, “I understand, maybe next time?” Little things like this make the biggest difference in the World. Granted, those are only two examples but personalize them to your life, this is all relatable.

5) There is NOBODY like you. You are unique and you are beautiful. You were put here on Earth for a higher purpose and to recognize and live by your uniqueness. You are no better or worse than the person next to you; the homeless man down the street or the billionaire. In order to really feel fulfilled and happy with your life, you first must be in love with yourself. And yes it may sound silly, but I’m saying it anyways– you MUST be in love with yourself (not in a boastful way at all) to love your life. People complimenting you or critisizing you shouldn’t make or break your day. You should already know who you are as a person, although that is 1000x easier said than done.

Excercise: Every morning, or really any chance you get throughout the day– go into the mirror, look at yourself and tell yourself how wonderful you really are. Don’t so much focus on your physical looks because we all know looks fade, but focus on your uniqueness, what makes you, “you” and the qualities you most love about yourself. We all have to have at least one. If you honestly can’t think of ONE– then you should probably do some serious reevaluating of your life and get it going over here to start have self-worth. Or if you really can’t think of one, then next time you start critisizing yourself (because we are our own worst critics) catch yourself and tell yourself the complete opposite (as long as it is positive) so instead of “I am stupid”… “I am brilliant!” Instead of “I am mean”… “I am caring to those closest to my heart”… LITTLE changes like this make for a big difference. You gotta start somewhere, right?

I’ll add more later on– use these to your advantage and incorporate them into your lives! =)

Judgment.

Some may call me weird. Some may call me odd. Some may call me different. Maybe crazy? Maybe loser? I’ve come to the realization, that nothing is personal. “You see in others what you see in yourself.” When people call names, point fingers– it’s NOT personal, it only has to do with personal issues within themselves. Why would I go through life giving power to those who don’t exactly matter to me, by caring what they say? Why would I live my life the way I think I will get accepted by others, in fear of their judgment… This is how most highschoolers, middleschoolers and even elementary children live out their adolescence; in fear of what others THINK about them. To be quite honest, other’s opinions of YOU is none of your business. It’s not. Their opinion doesn’t matter because it does NOT make you who you are. You are giving power to words that mean nothing to you. They are only personal to the one speaking them. When we care so much what others think, we give away our personal power. We sacrifice our happiness and we dim our heart and our true potential. Why be scared, why hold back? I know, this is a hard concept to grasp and live by– I am just learning it but even to acknowledge that what other’s think about you isn’t personal is a huge start. To understand it is an even bigger start and to practice it, well, that’s amazing. When we judge others, we are really judging ourselves. Start to become AWARE of what you say about others, it will help reveal to you your issues within yourself. Ask yourself what bothers you about the other person. The answer is sure to come, just listen.

If you think about it, we all judge others. Why is it, that a complete stranger that we’ve never met, who could possibly be God, bother us? Something about their hair, their makeup, what they’re wearing, the way they walk, their facial expressions… Why does it matter? In this case, the person judging is probably extremely judgemental of themself, in particular looks. You can laugh and point fingers all you want, but at the end of the day– you are stuck with YOU. Being “stuck” with ourselves is an amazing gift. We get the gift of improving ourselves and releasing the beauty within. Start looking at others through a loving eye, not judgmental. Begin to ask yourself, just as a start, what has that person gone through to possibly be where he/she is today? What makes him, him? What makes her, her? Try this: just like in Tyler Perry’s movie “Why Did I Get Married,” one of the characters says something along the lines of wanting to say something mean to the other girl, yet all she wants to do is pray. Instead of judging someone, why don’t you PRAY for them and their well-being? For their happiness? After all, happiness is a God-given right and we all deserve it. We are all capable of a change-of-heart. Even the most cold-hearted and cruel of people.

Negative thoughts, judgments and predispositions are all POISON to our bodies and to others. There are very few people I have met or have in my life that have no effect if someone were to spit something negative their way. Of course, you need to stand up for yourself if someone is disrespectful but I’m talking more about little judgements. These people have conquered and taken down the poison of others. We have ALL poisoned someone in our lives, a lot of people every day. If you think about it, why in the World would you want to bring poison, venom like a snake into another? The ones we love, the ones we like, the ones we don’t even know…

So I am asking you this, in an attempt to make the World a more “venom-free” place, next time you judge someone try to become aware and conscious of what you are saying or thinking. Most of the time we don’t even realize the thoughts in our minds. Catch yourself before and try to send love their way, instead of venom.

Just try it… what have you got to lose?